I am done chasing!
Chasing the groups, the friends, the people, or the outcomes are officially not a priority to me.
Greetings everyone!
Christin here. I recently concluded that chasing anything is no longer where I want to exert my energy. Trying to keep up with people is very, very hard and can be a real setback if you're focusing on reaching your goals. In two words, it’s time-consuming.
Ultimately, it’s not in your best interest. But sometimes it’s hard to understand the difference between chasing and pursuing. I really had to digest the meaning behind each. I found the answer by talking to myself and Terra about my most recent group meetup with a Tampa rollerblading group. I was able to break down the reality for myself and understand the difference between where I am now and the unique situation I am in, which may not allow me to be as involved as others may appear to be. The conclusion reached has allowed me to be accepting of where I am.
First, a little about me.
Would I consider myself an introvert?
I’m along the lines of an introvert and an extrovert. Well, more on the side of an introvert. With the right crowd and the right people, I am in my element and can be completely energized and happy with the people around me. Larger groups and crowds are harder for me to maintain because they require far more energy than I am willing to give.
I tend to set specific times to socialize in the clubs I feel most connected to. Rollerblading is one of them.
Now, I’d like to share my thought process, and Terra will join the dialogue. Everyone, let’s welcome Terra to the chat. 😄
Welcome Terra!
👏🏾…applause…👏🏾
I’m glad we get to have time to talk.
-Terra
Well, what do you mean? We literally talk every 10 minutes. I’m either opening my mouth or consumed in a void where you and I stare dead into each other’s eyes.
I guess that’s true. It just seems like going 20 minutes feels like forever. When you are at the park so long, time flies.
-Terra
That’s true because I have so much fun out there. As they say, time flies when you’re having fun.
Now, Terra, I am speaking to the audience today to share my experience. Lately, I have been focusing on my personal growth. I’ve been setting more time to listen to myself, care for myself, relax, and decompress. Within that time, thoughts try to invade my mind, to get me to believe I need to be doing something productive at all times. I started this Substack as a new creative outlet for my decompression time.
But it’s at those times when I get those thoughts pouring in, and it disrupts my aura, that I need to be socializing, joining the rollerblade club more often. They intrude on my space like a fruit fly that spawned after leaving trash in the bin for 5 days.
I want to give you all a clear breakdown of the energy expenditure for this interaction in this club.
Drive 1 hr 20 minutes to the meetup spot.
Mostly meet on Thursdays at 7 pm. Emphasis on weekdays!
We skate the streets for as long as 3 hrs, I’ve heard they go until 2 am… Again, a weekday!
Socially, be ready to meet people, which is the point of a social gathering like that.
Here we stop for pizza. We enter with our blades in Downtown Tampa
The club is so fun and exciting, and these are in no way complaints. However, there are just certain levels of effort I am willing to give. I have come to terms with that.
I want to say that it’s ok.
So it sounds like you thought this out pretty hard.
-Terra
I had to. There is no real need for me to be upset about it. Yes, I get those feelings of FOMO and that I’m not putting myself out there enough, but quite honestly, I put myself out there enough. I don’t want to try so hard, and I refuse to chase any groups or outcomes because the value is within me as it is.
What exactly could you be chasing, though?
-Terra
The chasing would come from always seeking the groups, feeling like I am missing out, and therefore chasing new groups or clubs, or wondering why I am not in certain crowds. Quite frankly, I had come to terms with the fact that that is not me, and I really wouldn’t even enjoy it if I did. The media makes it seem like it’s the coolest thing, and if you don’t act now, you’ll miss out. FALSE!
That is not how I work. Last week, I properly planned a day where I got to build my existing friendships after I set up time for 3 people in one day. This method represents me not chasing but meeting with people who will bring value, not drain my energy, and will produce more fulfillment. That is my strategy. If you want me to elaborate more on this, I’d be happy to. That is a whole article in itself.
If I happen to be within proximity to something convenient for me, absolutely. It really just makes me happy knowing that these groups and activities exist and they are everywhere all the time. When the time is right, and there is clear signaling that I can entertain them more, that will be the day. For now, I need to chill, not worry, and not chase. That applies to all my endeavors. I’ve learned the hard way that chasing repels.
Also, I am here for work. The sacrifice of my job is traveling around a lot and sometimes not being able to maintain relationships in large groups like this or with individuals.
I think this will be good for your journey. “When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you".
-Terra
So again, I have come to terms with my very unique but blessed circumstance.
But here is how I think of it. Everything is about development in this world. Financially, personally, and physically. Since I have such a unique living situation, I will continue to nurture it, meet new people, and continue to experience new groups and clubs.
I can’t be too focused on how other people can make friends, grow their circles, stay updated on the latest events, or even go to every one of them. I can easily drive out of my way to get there, but I will be losing something that is far more important. My own time to grow the way I need to. To relax, to refuel. For me.
***sniffle sniffle*** I’m touched you care about us so much!
I certainly do, girl!
Another thing I want to point out because wtf. I have no idea how these people make a living. What jobs do they have to have all this time, joining clubs and group events? After one workday, all I really want to do and have time to do is work out, cook, and play with my dog. Then it’s time for bed.
That is why planning specific, intentional day events is my best route.
For those who know how to navigate this dilemma, how do you handle it?
If you have experienced this too, where you have been wanting to join certain clubs or groups but find that your goals are just not allowing you to have the convenience or time to entertain them, but can’t, I’d love to hear your experience.
Also, the different voices are for me to practice character development for characters I’d like to bring in in other articles.
Note to self, use the beep sound effect and an outro theme for the next audio